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Brittany's LiveJournal:
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| Thursday, August 13th, 2009 | | 7:14 pm |
Well holy hell, it has easily been the worst summer ever. Dad's dead, Uncle has cancer, I'm broke and sad. Actually, I'm not that broke, but we just got 4 grand that was meant for my college expenses, so my mom took the 800 of it that she owed me, gave me that back and said pay for college, keeping the rest for what-fucking-ever. So I payed for college out of my own previously earned and lent out money, which I don't.... like? Especially because it was meant to be payed for me? Is that wrong? Am I greedy? I don't think so, because... I don't think thats wrong of me, whatever. I GETS MINE. Well, it doesn't feel like he's actually dead. It feels like he's still at the hospital. I can't really explain it. I don't know when it'll seem real. It did at the funeral, but now doesn't feel like real time. I went back to work, I guess, for the most part. I don't know how I'm supposed to know what books to buy for college. FML | | Tuesday, June 9th, 2009 | | 3:11 pm |
Still reelin',
It has been an eventful weekend. Bambi left and I didn't get to say goodbye. Awkward things were realized and planned. People from the past reentered my life and I'm still not entirely sure if its a good thing or not, but I guess the only place to move is forward. Berkley graduation is today, and I'm working. I'm just as content getting my diploma in the mail, but it still feels really weird. PS: Julie, since I'm pretty sure you're the only one out there, lets hang out soon. We have a lot of prom to discuss, plus some epic weirdness, which I'm sure you'll enjoy. You usually do. | | Thursday, June 4th, 2009 | | 1:27 pm |
HAHAHAHAHAHA Whoever thought of energy drink malt liquor flavored like orange was fucking retarded, dude. Shits nasty. First drink I've had since October and it was sick as shit. Serves me right. I need to get some conviction. Anyway, I'm planning prom, and all I have is baked potatoes, schweppes ginger ale and DIY orange julius. Brainstorm me some fake prom foods. | | Sunday, May 31st, 2009 | | 3:29 pm |
So. I'm done with high school. Forever. This adultish feeling is weird. I like having things done for me. But now they're not. Which sucks a lot. But, I feel like one day it'll work. I've decided what I want to do, kinda. But I don't even want to type it because it makes me feel silly because I know it'll never happen and shit. Gay. I want to sleep. | | Saturday, May 9th, 2009 | | 1:30 pm |
Work work work. Hopefully I'll be making that cash money come Tuesday, though. VICTORY IS MINE.  Champion. Also, check out toothpick guy.  Right after it was done, still bleeding.  I'm so proud. I think I'm really cool. | | Saturday, May 2nd, 2009 | | 11:07 am |
Working for the weekends, then working on the weekends.
Still looking for roommates, really sick, working a billion hours, wanting school to be done, car is shit, tired to the point of spontaneously collapsing, back hurts, head hurts, eyes hurt, hungry. Theres no more music in my life. It is heartbreaking. I am tired of school and trying. I want a boy that I won't have time for. Badly. I need a change. Going to sleep until its time to work again. On the plus side, getting my first tattoo on Tuesday. | | Saturday, April 4th, 2009 | | 1:19 pm |
I might live at home until I can afford to move out by myself into some gay studio apartment. Or. Until I can manage to tell my "best friend" that I'd rather move in with... basically strangers that actually HAVE JOBS. Fuck, dude. | | Thursday, April 2nd, 2009 | | 10:04 pm |
My life is so stagnant. I'm going through a kick of... being discontent with my world. Actually, mostly just the people that dominate my world. I'm sick of it. I want to move. Not move out, move far away. I want to move out, certainly, but I don't think I can be around the person I was planning to move out with anymore. I want to meet someone new. Start something new. Somewhere new. Work is killing me. Working almost 30 hours a week on top of school is the worst. So bad. Make me young, make me young, make me young. | | Wednesday, March 18th, 2009 | | 1:30 am |
This is where I'm at. Somehow making money and saving most of it in a new bank account that my parents can't get ahold of without my permission and presence, getting most of my car repairs out of the way, only sleeping 3 hours max a night, really dying because of PA and living in the past. I'm stuck in it, and it seems like all my old shit is reawakening. I'm almost done with school, and its excellent. Getting a house. Looking for one, anyway. Hoping to move at some point this summer, because my house just isn't a good... place to be. I need my own space. Also looking for a 3rd room mate. Lovely. It'll be okay. It always ends up okay. | | Sunday, February 15th, 2009 | | 1:30 pm |
Well. We inexplicably broke up, but whatever, its his perogative. But I'm back on the horse already. I can't help but chase after this weird dilusion that we'll get back together, mostly because it was such a shock to me. I do miss George though. But anyway, Jake plays the mandolin too. I'm such a 15 year old girl. | | Tuesday, February 10th, 2009 | | 11:14 pm |
Aww. I just found out that all my college friends came home on my birthday weekend and no one called me. That kinda makes me sad. Really sad, actually. Not even the birthday part, just the fact that none of them really care to see me anymore. | | Sunday, February 8th, 2009 | | 12:25 pm |
Day of birth. It was nice. I got to see someone I haven't seen in ages. Hang out with my best friend and boyfriend. I don't know. It was easily one of the best birthdays I've had. I am grateful for all I have. I don't know why. Things are good right now. PA is kicking my ass. I don't know why I'm updating. I don't have much to say. | | Thursday, January 15th, 2009 | | 6:29 am |
Brittany has a..... Boyfriend?!
Well. I guess, overall, things are going quite well. My grades aren't as bad as I thought they were turning out to be, and I'm working my balls off to get 'em up higher. I might turn a PA paper in on time, for once. Plus, I now have a beautiful boyfriend that can make 2 hours feel like 10 minutes and I don't hate his writing. Its kind of weird, things turning out as well as they are. I feel like its some fucked up trick that life is playing on me, and theres gonna be some... comical rug pull from right under my feet any day now. So, my boy took me on a date to Marvin's Marvelous Mechanical Museum. That place was so fucked up, I loved it. I think he and I are going to get along just fine. Its times like these that make me think that if your life sucks for long enough, something has to go right for you eventually. Not that my life sucked, I've just had bad luck with the boys. Also. I think I'mma wait to have sex with him. I'll wait... A few weeks, at least. Anyway. I've always said that I'll never abandon my friends if I have a boyfriend, and I haven't. I keep bringing him around people he doesn't know, all the time. I feel like thats not fair... he meets at least 3 new people every time he sees me, for christs sake. Is this unfair? I mean, I don't want to leave all my friends, but I don't want to never see my boyfriend alone, and somehow I'm always ditching someone when he and I hang out... Its weird. | | Thursday, January 1st, 2009 | | 12:14 pm |
Dude. Fuck dreams. Also, fuck holiday shit. Profanity.
I've had a lot of fucked up dreams lately. They've mostly been about running around bathrooms, but never finding a stall with a door. A fucking maze of bathrooms, but no doors. I've also had one that I was mopping a bathroom and these bitches kept knocking over my mop bucket. Then there was another where not only were there no doors, there were no stall dividers. So I went to the bathroom, and two guys came in and used the other toilets backwards, so I felt like I wasn't using the bathroom properly. Then there was another one where I needed to shower, and the only shower had a bathroom in it... its getting fucked up. I also had one about a bunch of mannequin heads covered in yellow paint. I'm tired of dreams, they're weirding me out. I'm sure these bathroom dreams mean something, but I don't really want to look. Christmas was disappointing again. You'd think that I'd stop expecting anything after all the shitty ones. | | Tuesday, December 16th, 2008 | | 8:32 pm |
My turn.
1. Are you going on vacation anytime soon?: Hm. Maybe. I might go with Allison somewhere over Christmas. Other than that, hopefully never again. 2. Do you attend church every sunday?: I haven't attended church since I was confirmed. 3. When was the last time you went to the dentist?: A month or so ago. No cavities! 4. Do you ever watch the news?: Sporatically. 5. Have you ever surfed? If yes, how many times?: I've surfed THE WEB. About once every few days. 6. Would you ever want to be a doctor?: That requires... dedication and stuff. No way. 7. What color is your backpack?: Black. 8. What was the last field trip you went on? Did you enjoy it?: I went on a trip to the jail with my Criminal Justice class. I drove, so I pissed away a shit ton of gas, but I got to smoke the whole 45 minute drive there and back, so... bitchin'. 9. Should you be doing something else right now?: PA PAPER, FOR THE LOVE OF CHRIST. THAT NEEDS TO GET DONE. OR AT LEAST STARTED. 10. How many times have you gotten suspended?: Never. 11. Do you have a bad attitude?: Sometimes. Most times. 12. Tell me what your nightstand has on it right now?: Books. 13. Do you like the name Lexi?: No. It kind of makes me angry. I don't know why. 14. What was the last thing you lit on fire?: The end of a cigarette? 15. Do you own a white coat?: No. I don't know if I own white anything. 16. If your boyfriend hit you, would you tell someone?: I'd tell EVERYONE. Fuck that shit. 17. Are you currently depressed?: That I can't get anything done, yes. 18. What was the last drug you consumed?: Weed, a few months ago. I don't really... do that shit anymore. 19. How many pairs of sunglasses do you own?: None. 20. Do you like Target?: I guess? I haven't really been there since I was like... 14. 21. Is it too early for Christmas music right now?: I don't know. I don't listen to the radio anyway. 22. What was the last car you were in? Who were you with?: My '94 gun car. I was with Allison. 23. Would you consider yourself as flexible?: Physically or... emotionally? Probably neither. 24. What are some flexible things you can do?: Oh. You meant physically. None. 25. Have you seen the movie, Wall-E? If not, would you like to?: No, and I have no particular desire to. 26. When you form wrinkles, are you going to use anti-aging cream?: Nah, I think they add character. And apparently I don't have enough of that. 27. What beach did you last go to?: Second beach up in Mackinaw with Jenn. 28. Did you wear any jewlery today?: Never do. 29. When were you last sick? What was the reason?: Yesterday. I had a fever, I was weak, couldn't really move, but still went to school for first hour? 30. Are you using any blankets at the moment?: No. Warmth is for bitches. I'm freezing. | | Wednesday, November 19th, 2008 | | 11:11 pm |
It has been a day.
So. I decided last night that today was going to be a great day. Today, I woke up feeling dead. I skipped first hour to sleep, then went to school. In film studies we watched the end of The Wild Bunch. Westerns are the shit. Vietnam era, there was a sub, so I was just a douchebag all hour. CASA was CASA. Today marks 5 months since I last did heroin, and I'm proud of myself for not doing it for this long. Because lets face it, I'm great at giving up on things, but I've managed to stay with this one, and I'm happy about it. It's been one of those days. Now I'm watching Blood Car and procrastinating this epic essay I have to rough draft tonight. Its doing the trick. Current Music: Archie trying to kill small animals with a BB gun to fuel his car. | | Saturday, November 15th, 2008 | | 5:37 pm |
I figured it was about time for an update, I guess. Things are just floating along. I have complaints, sure, but none worth discussing. I suppose my boy situation is a bit.... odd. But thats a recurring theme in my life. I'mma just call myself "quirky" from now on. I'm not weird and retarded, I'm quirky. I'm not fat, I'm just big boned. more to love. WATCH ME DO ME. ♥, Brittany Brickbreaker | | Tuesday, October 14th, 2008 | | 10:59 pm |
| | Saturday, October 11th, 2008 | | 1:19 am |
A runabout? I'll steal it! No one will ever know!
Well, it's shitty. I've been sick since Tuesday, and the damn antibiotics I'm on gave me a fucking yeast infection. I know its very attractive, but it happens to the best of us, so whatever. At least it hasn't gotten to like... taking over my entire lower body level... I've seen some awful pictures in my research.... Nah, I just got a rash and it hurts when I pee. But not in like... the UTI way... I dunno, I think you need to get a yeast infection to know what I'm talking about. Overall, its still shitty, and I'm already on the medicine shit, so I'll be fine and dandy in 6 more days. Anyway, I've got 2 college applications down, two more to go... Hah, I've got OCC and LCC done. Wow. Now just... Wayne State and MSU to go. The ones where you need more than a name and a high school diploma to attend. Or as Justin would say, "All you need is a sharpened pencil to go to LCC." ... I thought it was clever. I don't even know why I am gonna apply to State... I just feel like I should.... Especially cuz I want to go there after I go to LCC for a year... and I want to know if I can get in.... Fuck. On a much funnier note, today my little brother put a cigarette out on my back intentionally, so I punched him in the mouth. I don't know if I was entirely justified, because he kinda bled, and his friends totally laughed at him the entire night... but it was epic. And I don't know if you've ever punched a blind 15 year old in the face... but it doesn't feel too great. ( Awesometown! ) | | Tuesday, October 7th, 2008 | | 3:29 pm |
So its settled, then.
I'm gonna go to Lansing Community College next year. The Exploding Hi Five house will be my place of residence, up in East Lansing, probably closer to state, but I'll get accustomed to riding my bike. Its essentially going to be an amazing music collective with Justin, Paul, Bambi and maybe this guy Corey... I don't know him that well, but hes awkward, which is always good. I couldn't be more thrilled with the idea. The idea. I'm sure it will be horrible when I need space or quiet, but whatever. First week there, I'll make sure I have a place to go and be alone with quiet. It'll be the best. In theory. This is so... crazy. Theres no eloquent way to phrase it... Its bananas. I don't feel old enough, or mature enough to be... living without mommy and daddy. Its surreal. But apparently we'll be signing the lease as soon as next weekend. So its game time. Current Music: Blue Skies - Ella Fitzgerald |
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